OCTOBER 2005 - After the past hellish year and a half, losing seven family members, fighting my own bad health resulting in two surgeries and just trying to drag my ass out of bed each morning, I put House Of Pain on the back burner for a while. I took on a helper last year, Nickolaus Pacione, to help with the editing and formatting of stories and he did help quite a bit. I managed to add some new work but I was no where near satisfied with where I was going with House Of Pain anymore. I didn't have the time or energy to give it the attention it needs.

   I still don't, in fact I have even less time now, between running our own businesses, daily life and trying to keep myself moving every day. I had made plans to have a new issue up by mid-March and there it was, mid-March and I didn't even have the motivation to start working on anything. I had just gotten back home after three weeks of taking care of my very ill mom (who fortunately recovered completely) and I had an upcoming surgery in May that had a six week recovery time (which I fortunately recovered from).

   So, I made a decision. It was not an easy one to make but for me, it was the only one. It weighed heavy on my mind. I had about 70 stories that had been sent in over the past few months sitting here and authors that needed a place to go. I know I had loyal readers who I was letting down but I'd come to one conclusion. I couldn't do this any more. At least not right now.

   The site will stay up, the archives will remain, in fact everything will still be here except for new fiction. Some day I may get the urge and energy again but right now the only urge I have is to sleep, sit outside at sundown watching the desert and feed he jackrabbits that I've adopted. Maybe when I make it through all this and get myself back again I'll start back up if there's still those out there who need me.

   I want to thank everyone that has contributed over the years. I want to thank all those people who cheered me on when I needed it the most and talked me out of giving it up in the past. It's been very fulfilling to know that many of the authors that I gave a first start to are now being published and I'd like to think that I helped give them the boost they needed to get out there and try harder by having their work accepted here.

   I also want to thank all the readers that kept me going for the past ten years and gave me the will to keep it up, because I hate letting people down. I'd like to think that there will be some people out there that will miss the new fiction, that looked forward to it and to them I say I'm sorry. I've spent ten years taking care of my House Of Pain, right now I have to concentrate on taking care of me.

Dark Blessings!
Brigit